It is hard to keep up with a blog. I'm currently in an online course, which is about contemporary issues in Speech-Language Pathology (SLP). Everyone in the program has complained about this course, so I've been dreading it for quite some time. I even complain about it every so often because the discussion posts by my fellow classmates are just so dull and repetitive sometimes. However, I just finished my post for this week's lecture, so I feel a sense of accomplishment (although I wish it didn't take me longer than 30 minutes...it usually does). This week's lecture is about marketing for our business/private practice and it's hard work to keep up with promoting for yourself. It's not that I'm promoting myself or this blog, but I do like to update my followers regularly, which just hasn't been happening. I see my blog has been getting quite a bit of views, so I wonder who is reading.
Everything has been going very well. Classes are good. I finally was able to send in my thesis topic for approval from my university, but I will have to wait a month before I find out if it's approved and I can actually start my study. It will be survey sent out to directors of aphasia choirs around the world. I'll have to present my data in April at my university and in May at the NJ conference for SLPs. I am even interested in starting a new project, involving the general public's knowledge of aphasia.
My graduate assistantship is a way to keep me busy 2-3 days out of the week. My supervisor wants to start writing an article together about voice disorders.
I've been editing a story that my friends and I wrote last summer on a road trip. This story is probably what makes me most "happy," because I'm totally immersed in editing and my mind is completely away from cancer treatments and its effects. I'm hoping one day I can send the story to an editor to be published as a children's picture book. It seems really far-fetched and silly to think I can do something like this, but...."You must do the things you think you cannot do." -Eleanor Roosevelt
Today was the first day I noticed my armpit hair is not growing. I don't mind that at all, but the fact is that my head hair is falling out more than usual and it is really starting to bother me. Everyone gives different advice. Some say to only brush my hair once a day, but I DO NOT WANT TO BRUSH MY HAIR EVER AGAIN! The brush/pick will only pull out more hair and I don't like it. A lot of people, including the nurse practitioner, have said "you won't lose it." And I just want to yell out, "how do YOU know?!?!" I think the best thing you can say to me right now is that "you look great, I can't tell you're losing it, or you will look beautiful no matter what." But saying I won't lose my hair actually makes me angry and anxious. I was very upset with the nurse who said that two months ago, because it just gave me false hope. Even if I don't end up losing it completely, I know that it IS thinning. And if you are one of those people, just know that I still love you very much and appreciate that you're thinking of me. :)
I have only been washing with baby shampoo/hair loss shampoo two times a week, brushing or running my fingers through it only after a shower, and clipping it back with hair clips to avoid running my hand through it (especially when I'm nervous or doing a mindless task). I think I'll just continue with the clips for as long as I can. It looks terrible, but honestly, I don't care and I don't think anyone else should either. If they knew how I feel every minute of the day because I notice more hairs than usual on my shoulders and clothes and that my fear of being bald creeps into my thoughts every now and then, they would understand and let me keep my new bed head look!
It does make me laugh, though, because mom and I think the reason I've held onto my head hair for so long is the same reason why the unwanted hair on my body has been so stubborn all my life! I've tried professional and home laser treatments, waxing, depilatory creams, shaving.... and they have never worked for me long term. So, I say thank you to whatever weird hairy body genes I have for letting me keep my head hair for long throughout treatments!! :) :)
Next treatment: Friday, February 28th. (9 out of 12)
