Memorial Day

This Memorial Day, I am not only thankful for all the brave men and women who have served and continue to serve our country, but I am also thinking of the brave men and women who battle with cancer each day. This weekend was the first time I experienced true anger at cancer since being diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma in September.

My dear friend, Kasie, lost her mother to pancreatic cancer last week and this weekend I attended a beautiful memorial service in her honor and memory. As I sat in the congregation, listening to family and friends speak about Nancy and how brave and kind she was her entire life, but even after her terminal diagnosis, I experienced real anger towards this terrible disease, which only seems to become more prevalent as we continue to research and fight for a cure.

I was "blessed" to have Hodgkin's lymphoma. It is very treatable and I had no doubt in my mind that I was going to go through chemotherapy and be okay. I was never mad at cancer, or God, or the universe, or my body, or whatever for giving me cancer. But Saturday afternoon, I was mad. I was mad that cancer took away my best friend's mother. I was mad that Nancy had to go through such a hard battle, when I didn't, and so many others do every day. I read blogs and those little "memes" on Facebook that say no matter what kind of cancer you have, it is still cancer. It still hurts. It still affects you and the people that care about you. Just because you don't look sick, doesn't mean you aren't sick. Just because you don't lose your hair, doesn't mean cancer hasn't affected you in a powerful way. This is all true and I believe it. But for the first time, I was really angry at cancer. At God. At the universe. At bodies for allowing us to get this awful disease, whatever it is and however it happens.

I am grieving for Nancy today. I am grieving for myself and for everyone affected by cancer, hoping there will be a cure in my lifetime. Yet I am thankful for cancer research, for doctors and nurses, for family, for friends, for supporters. Your donation, to the LLS, American Cancer Society, or whichever organization you choose, makes a huge difference in the lives of cancer patients. Thank you.

http://pages.lightthenight.org/nj/Morris14/GVelmer